NOT A Fortune…


Pick A FortuneWe love fortune cookies in our family.

I know they were invented in America, blah, blah.

I don’t care. They’re so much fun!

We read them together and then collect them in a little shot glass to enjoy again later.

Anytime we need a little pick me up, positive word, a bit of fun when friends come over – just grab the shot glass and Pick A Fortune!

But the last year or so, they haven’t been so much… fortune.

In fact, much of the time, it hasn’t been fortunes inside the cookies. It’s been NOT-a-fortunes.

Don’t believe me? Check it out.

NOT A Fortune!

< Click on the picture to view it in a larger size. >

On the right side, you can see fortunes that actually qualify as “fortunes.” Or at least mostly.

  • “An opportunity will knock on your door.”
    –  General, but OK!
  • “You shouldn’t overspend at the moment.”
    – General advice, but could be a useful warning!
  • “This coming Friday will be an exciting time for you.”
    – Duh, who doesn’t love Friday? But still – I’m really looking forward to the “exciting time.” I think.

Those qualify as fortunes!

These DO NOT!

  • “If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it naked or homeless?”
    – Wha? Why?  NOT A FORTUNE!
  • “Love is a present that can be given every single day you live.”
    – I personally believe in Life After Death. NOT A FORTUNE!
    and my favorite…
  • “Eat your vegetable and you’ll grow up big and strong like Popeye.”
    – Seriously, wtf. THIS IS NOT A FORTUNE!!!

FORTUNE COOKIE FAIL!

Someone needs to quit at the fortune cookie factory and hire me instead.
I would write totally awesome fortunes.

My fortunes are inarguably better!

Nailed it.

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Filed under Humor, NaBloPoMo

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