We attended the wedding of our adopted nephew today. A case of family you choose, as we don’t share blood or legal ties. His mother helped me so much through early motherhood. She kept my kids a lot more than I got to keep hers. But she’ll always be an “aunt” to my kids.
I remember the 5 of our kids (hers and mine) crowded around our Little Tikes table. I was babysitting her kids that day and fed them Mac n’ Cheese with onions. It was how my mom made the dish when I was a kid. But the boys nearly barfed. It didn’t even dawn on me that they might not like onion in their Mac n’ Cheese. I can’t help but giggle thinking about their faces. But I haven’t made it that way ever since.
Their mom helped me so much back when it seemed I was going to miscarry my son, by keeping my daughter so I could see the OB twice a week. And then again babysitting after my car accident when my husband was gone, and I had to go to doctors and PT all the time. Between her and fellow moms from school, I somehow managed a year’s worth of medical care during my husband’s 18 month deployment.
It’s weird to think about it. Thanks to sucky medical stuff, our kids had the opportunity to cement a deep friendship. (Same as with my kid’s friends from school. Because of other mothers helping me, they got to be good friends with others.)
A car accident that left me completely numb on my left side, requiring over a year of physical therapy to get strength and use of my arm back. And nearly losing my unborn son halfway through my pregnancy. 9 weeks not knowing if he’d live or die and somewhere around 20 weeks of weekly and biweekly appointments to get him here safely.
Two awful experiences I never want to repeat, but thanks to the kindness of other mothers, they set up a lifetime of friendship especially important to my kids.
It’s hard to believe her son and new daughter-in-law are 24, the same age I was when John and I got married. They’re in that same spot of launching into their life together. I remember it well. Life is crazy.