It’s been a difficult few days.
Actually, a difficult few weeks and months.
Actually… 18 months of crisis fighting tooth and nail to be exact.
Difficult challenges around every corner.
Culminating up to a pinnacle, a colossus.
I suppose befitting the force of nature that I fiercely love. Who showers me and our children with his fierce love in return. Our love that was not simply stumbled upon in luck, but worked, created, earned and crafted between us over 22 years. #SeizeTheRide
John’s chariot came. He was stolen away this weekend, far too soon.
Neither he nor I did anything to deserve the pain and trials received through this journey, but we strove to create something better through them anyway. We chose to transmute and live consciously and as gracefully as possible. And do every damned thing we could to help others, every chance possible.
I’d like to think our lives were richer and more meaningful for it.
The love and support of others helped in every way.
To everyone who has followed and simply made a point of reaching out and holding our hands in this most terrible of storms – our utmost gratitude.
– ♡♡ –
#RaiseAwareness #Glioblastoma #CureGBM #PrayersContinued
Here’s what I wrote for John’s FB page. I don’t think I can write it again: https://www.facebook.com/303426583411423/photos/a.303554250065323.1073741831.303426583411423/368767613543986/?type=3&theater
Crochet Liberation Front:
Aberrant Crochet (TM) 
Julia, I am so so sorry to read this. You are in my thoughts.
Julia, I am so very sorry. John was truly a light in this world, and so are you. I will hold you and your family in my heart and prayers.
Thank you Amy. ❤❤ He was my light. Hopefully I can find a way to keep seeing it.
❤❤
i am so sorry for your loss. For your children’s loss. For your community’s loss. Please know that there are people who care for you and hope for you from far away. I hope the way you followed this awful path gives you peace, and that the memories of John and the love you shared will sustain you in this new life you must forge. I wish you the comfort of loving friends, known and unknown and the peace of knowing you have loved
My heartfelt sympathy to you! Praying,
Thank you Liz. ❤❤
Julia, your writing has moved me since I first “met” you here, but nothing has touched me more than your beautiful tribute to John on your Facebook page. My heart breaks for you and your children to have lost such an amazing man. Sending strength and love. —Candace
Thank you so much Candace. It just poured from my heart, as I guess it all does. Sometimes you have no idea what you’re writing until it’s done. I miss John terribly. His funeral is in a week. I look forward to meeting some of the men he served with.
Words. So many words are running through my head. So many things I wish I could say to bring you something, even some small measure of comfort.
No, that’s not true; I want to wrap you and your children up in a great cloud of peace and take all the pain away.
Which is of course, impossible. Maybe not even right. Perhaps there is something, some reason, some “why” that is as of yet, not something we in our mortal state can understand. We see but through a glass darkly after all. And we cling to hope. It is a great mystery.
But whatever and however and whyever, it is a thing we do not understand together and it is a thing that we cling to hope for together. And that IS a thing we have, if we choose it. We have together. We have the ability to hold on to each other and support each other while we look anxiously into that dark glass, while we wait , while we hope, when hope flees, as it so often does, and when hope returns, which it also does.
We, all of us, everywhere, can do this for each other.
I have read your posts, followed your story, wondered in the times in between, and sent a little prayer. I will (with your permission) continue to do so, as I know your friends, your family, and your other Aberrant Crochet readers are doing as well.
Peace and comfort.
Thank you so much Paula for such a kind and deeply thoughtful note. I appreciate it and you very much. John’s funeral is in a week. I hope I pull it off with grace, ease and joy in sharing with his friends. ❤❤
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