This is more philosophical/spiritual in nature, something I am exploring personally and within my spiritual circles, but thought I would share it with you. In part, because I think it’s something many of us in the creative fields can relate to, especially many of us who are women, mothers and other servants to greater causes than ourselves.
You see, around New Years this year I had an epiphany about receiving. I’ve always been a proactive advocate about the cycle of give and receive. It’s important to value things in life. Ourselves included. We often do not value when we do not give in exchange. And as artists, we often find ourselves having to learn much about this when we look at pricing ourselves and valuing ourselves and marketing/selling ourselves and the work of our hands. So many women and so many artists feel guilt for charging for creation. Or guilt over asking for more. So understanding the divine nature of the cycle of give and receive is greatly beneficial in coming to a place of balance in this.
Is it logical? Is it balance? Is it even love to devalue oneself? Because devaluing oneself is not being humble. It is not an act of giving. And it is not unconditional love either. It is not the same energy by far.
These are subjects many of us are already exploring and more familiar with. But earlier this year I came to realize there was something more. An augmentation of this understanding.
We know about unconditional love. We know about unconditional giving. But we rarely hear about unconditional receiving. It’s bad enough when we put up rules about when we will give and who we will give to. Dictating a type of giving only where we deem it is “deserved.” However, too much of the time, we put up rules about receiving, either blocking all together, or placing parameters and requirements on how we will allow ourselves to receive. We say we will allow ourselves to receive, but only this way, or with these conditions.
Sometimes it takes us becoming downright sick or injured before we allow ourselves to receive help of any kind. As if only then we have permission. We even do this with friendship. And we avoid delegation.
Of course, in order for someone to have the benefits of giving, there must be a receiver, but when you look at unconditional receiving, as in – no conditions, just receive in gratitude – it takes on a whole new energy. No Conditions! No judgement! No comparing to what others have or don’t. No negative views on one-self, or others! Just purely receive! Unconditionally! I am blessed and whether expected or not, whether “deserving” or not, I will accept! And I will not turn down another’s gift of giving and deny them that experience either. And I do not have to work harder before I’m finally “deserving” of it either.
It’s a continued exploration, but something that really struck to my core when the phrase popped into my head. “Unconditional Receiving.” That conditioned receiving is not really love. And I’m pretty darn sure, we are not supposed to judge too harshly the things that flow into our lives. If I were to meet Jesus, or the Dali Lama or another spiritual master, and offer them a gift, would they judge it? Do we reject the gifts of children when offered? So if I desire to be love, why would I do less for another, or to God?
I’m still exploring it and what it means for/in life, mine and others. Many times in my past, receiving was either forbidden, or it meant being owned in some way. And so blocking that was a way to comply with the rules, or to be free of bondage. It was also a way to avoid disappointment and judgment. And there was all that “deserving” stuff. Being open to receiving can make you feel vulnerable. Being honest about need can make you feel vulnerable. Even being honest about your feelings, or where you came from, can leave you open to judgment from others.
But I am not in need of those views or protections now. I haven’t been for a long time. It’s an interesting exploration. I cannot claim to have absolute understanding of this, but I can say that the exploration of this is teaching me a lot.